Are you a first time mom? You must read this right now

One of the joyous occasion in life is when we bring that little bundle of happiness to this world. Everyone around are happy and takes at most care of the baby and the mother. But sometimes this care and concerns they raise are overwhelming for mother. Most of us are so concerned about the baby that we forget how much pressure we put on the mother itself.


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What to expect as first time mother?

I already spoke about the baby blues and other emotional stress that new moms go through in one of my articles. Here I'm to walk through most of the questions and dilemmas that I faced handling a new born.

When I had my daughter, I had no clue on what I should be doing. One thing I was sure about is to breastfeed her at least for a year even though I wasn't aware of its benefits (This was because my mom told me so before she passed away). I had many relatives around who helped me but everyone had many concerns and suggestions which made my head swing.

Breastfeeding:

Do not doubt your supply. One of the remarks that naturally come to you from people is "Your baby looks skinny. I think you don't have enough supply of milk". This will make the new moms doubt their milk supply which in turn will affect the supply again. Keep an eye on baby's pee count. If it's 6+, you are doing good. Ensure to burp after every feed. Your baby is getting enough milk and he is not dehydrated. If it is < 6, conclude that milk intake is insufficient. Do the following

• Check whether your baby latches properly. (Tongue tie may also be the reason for improper latching and the baby cannot suck)
• Try to hand express to check your supply. Again hand expressing milk is not the way to check the amount of milk you produce. This is simply to check the flow
• Do lots of skin to skin. This induces the supply
• Drink more water and eat food that helps in increasing the breast milk (BM) like Garlic, meat, poultry, oats, dry fish, fenugreek seeds
• The more you feed, the more you produce (Demand and supply concept)

One other question that every mother has is how frequently my baby must be fed. It is recommended to feed in the interval of 2-3 hrs. As time goes on feed on demand. Elders say every time the baby pees, their tummy becomes empty and you must feed. And feed whenever the baby cries. New born babies pee like 2-3 times in 2 hrs interval. Big No. Baby cries for various reasons such a wet nappy, ant bite or he wants your comfort. If you feed whenever the baby cries or pees, it may result in overfeeding. A new born baby's tummy is very small and it can't digest like how adults do. Overfeeding of BM / FM can cause discomfort, indigestion and often results in gastric problems in babies. Always take the baby's cue for hunger. Trust your instincts. After all it is your baby and you know your baby's needs better than anyone. 

Most importantly, babies must be exclusively breastfed until 6 month. No other food, including water to be introduced. Breast milk has enough water and other nutrients for the baby's growth. I have come across so many new mothers being forced to introduce solids or being advised to give water or other food to increase baby's weight. I understand it is all said with a good heart. But politely refuse and tell them it is not good for the baby. A lady might have had 5+ children and she is so sure of it from her experience. But this is not her child. You are the mother and you know what is good and bad for your baby. World Health Organisation (WHO) suggests 6 months exclusive breastfeeding for the babies. There are lot of other risks related to early introduction of solids. 

Co-sleeping with new born:

That little one is just into the whole new world. All this while he was in your tummy, in warmth, cozy and comfortable. Now in this new environment, the only familiar touch he know is you, the mother. So do lot of skin to skin with the baby. This helps you bond. 

I was told to put my baby in the cradle so that she will have better sleep and do I. Co-sleeping with the baby will make her so attached to me and both will have disturbed sleep. I was so naive and put her in the cradle. It was good during the initial days where she slept well in the cradle but as days went on she wanted us to rock her to sleep. Then it became worse, the whole time she slept on the cradle, we must be rocking it. We all lost our sleep and still she sometimes asks for cradle for short naps. FYI she is going to 4 yrs in couple of months. 

Co-sleep with your child. It builds emotional relationship with baby and the parents. Babies sleep better when slept with mother which is because they are feeling safe and secured resulting in less or no disturbed sleep. And the night feeding sessions are easier. 

Usage of baby products:

Limit the baby products usage at least until the baby turns 2. I know you have been waiting to doll up your child and show everyone your masterpiece. But have patience. They are all yours (Of course until certain age). Refrain from using baby talcum powder. The minute particles might go into baby's nostrils. Sediments of talcum powder in the respiratory system can cause breathing complications in the later stages. I simply used Himalaya baby lotion as a moisturizer and it was really good.  

Start using cloth nappies during day time and diaper during nights. It will be easy to potty train when on cloth nappies. Keeping them on diaper for a very long time will lead to rashes too. In case if you want to keep them on diaper, apply coconut oil before putting the diaper on. 

And importantly, everyone must wash their hands or use sanitizer before holding the baby. This may hurt few elders or even youngsters when you say this but this is for the baby's safety. We don't know what people have touched. It could be their own sweat. Baby's health must be put first in any scenario. 

What is normal in new born babies:

• Peeing +6 times in a day
• Pooping frequently - after every feed / while peeing
• Not pooing for up to a week
• Crying 
• Breathing heavily or in a irregular pattern
• Keeping their hands in mouth and sucking (Cue for hunger in early stage and is also a milestone)
• Curd like vomiting after a feed
• Twisting / stretching their body (like elders do to relieve body aches)
• Sleeping 4-5 hrs without asking for a feed (For baby < 2 months, you can dream feed. For older babies let them enjoy their nap while you have yours)
• Disturbed sleep - be there to comfort. It's a phase and shall pass

Hope I have covered the important things to consider here. Ignore the questions like "You seem to be overweight, is there another baby in your tummy? or Sleep while your baby sleeps or Why is your baby underweight or Why hasn't he rolled over yet? My baby did on the first day". You can even ignore the people totally to have a peaceful life altogether. 

Yours,

First time mother,

Priya

I know my child better! Learnt from experience!