Guilty Mommy!!

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Am I a good mother? I chose profession over my daughter. I am not there for my daughter when she needs me. I am selfish in a way that I didn't want to miss my career because of the motherhood. My passion is important as much as my family. I leave my daughter in the morning and I don't get time for her until evening. 


How can you be this way? Child should be your first priority. Nothing is more important than your kid (True in a sense, but....). Do you think I'm a cruel mom? No, I'm a working Mom 😀. It sounds cruel but I struggle hard to meet the "requirements" of a so called mother. You know the standards of a mother are too high to meet! Who has set the standards of how a mother should be? I wonder! Its us. We compare ourselves with our mothers and grandmothers. 

Lets take the motherhood light. No! I'm not the voice of all working mommies. I talk for myself. I would want the people and the to-be Moms to know how this journey is going to be. 

In India, we only care when the woman is carrying...once the baby is out, everyone's attention turns to the baby including the woman herself. Actually the woman needs support only after her delivery. When I was carrying, my company gave a maternity leave up to 3 months 👍 and my managers are so generous that they extended my leave to another 3 months. So I had 6 months in total to bond with my little girl. In all these 6 months not a day went by without an advise from one or the other person on how to and how not to handle my baby. Half of them were ridiculous which I couldn't tell them on face. 

Important question which I had to encounter is "You should breastfeed your baby until she turns 1. How will you manage if you are working?" Few said, "Quit your job and take care of the kid. You don't have the need to work." I just waved off with a smile. There were few who asked me to stop breastfeeding the baby so that I can be in peace (Really???). For me, my kid's health is very important. I hadn't and will never compromise anything for her health. I made sure I feed home made solids. No artificial ingredients. 

I rejoined my company when she was 6 months old. I still breastfeed her on demand. The first person I would see is my daughter. I make use of the time to take care of her when I'm at home. I would never leave to office without giving her her breakfast. When I come home she cannot wait for me to refresh. I'm the one who puts her to sleep. After all I'm her mother. I'm not an ideal mother though but I care for her and want everything to be the best in her life. 

I at times feel guilty when I couldn't be there when she needs me. I envy the stay at home moms who has got to spend their time for the baby and not miss little little steps of her growth. There were times when I thought of giving up my career as I felt extremely guilty. It is not an easy thing. I cannot imagine myself sitting at home doing nothing. I do not want to give up my passion and quote motherhood as a reason for it. I have to deal with it. Motherhood is a phase of life. Living your passion is life. I don't want to regret in my death bed for not doing what I wanted to do. We need not search for role models and inspirations from someone else. I can be an inspiration to my daughter. My daughter will be proud of me. She definitely will, I'm sure. I'm strong and independent. 

It's going to get tough as years pass by. I'm ready to face it along with my daughter. I'm gonna...oohh we are going to love it 😁😁 

There is one person who has been supportive all throughout..who has actually underwent  a motherhood himself..my husband 💘 A sweetheart he is :) 

By 
A working mom
Priya


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